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Post by TheJokker on Apr 3, 2009 9:58:04 GMT -5
A bus driver was heading down a street in Colorado. He went right past a stop sign without stopping, he turned left where there was a "no left turn" sign, and he went the wrong way on a one-way street. Then he went on the left side of the road past a cop car. Still - he didn't break any traffic laws.
Why not?
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Post by giacomo on Apr 3, 2009 10:16:07 GMT -5
A bus driver was heading down a street in Colorado. He went right past a stop sign without stopping, he turned left where there was a "no left turn" sign, and he went the wrong way on a one-way street. Then he went on the left side of the road past a cop car. Still - he didn't break any traffic laws. Why not? Sounds like the bus driver was taking a walk to me.
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Post by NoChinDeluxe on Apr 3, 2009 11:53:48 GMT -5
C'mon Jokker, haven't you realized by now that we are smart dudes here at the DGA? How 'bout giving us a bit of a challenge?!
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Post by TheJokker on Apr 3, 2009 11:59:06 GMT -5
OK, let me try again ! ! !
obviously giacomo got it, quit usin GOOGLE ! ! !
The higher I climb, the hotter I engage, I can not escape my crystal cage. What am I?
Try to Google that
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Post by Snapjack43 on Apr 3, 2009 12:54:37 GMT -5
mercury in a thermometer
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Post by TheJokker on Apr 3, 2009 13:56:08 GMT -5
OK, good job snap, you dudes are to good. Guess I'll have to lower my head and think about golf.
OK, I have a test here for new memebrs, just to see if they are up to the extraordinary high DGA mental standards required to play golf at a level acceptable to current members so we can maintain this high quality of mental abilities.
Members may feel free to take this test as well
M.U.N.S.A. Test Have you an unusual Intelligence? Do you find you lose interest in supposedly "Interesting movies"? It could be that you're one of the 5% of the population that has the mental capacity of a steaming turd! If so, you may want to join MUNSA - Mentally Unemployed and Noticeably Stupid Association.
Try the questionnaire below. The results could surprise you! If you can't even read the question, you're halfway there already - just get someone to fill out our full color brochure at any trailing chemist, and you'll be in for some, good old fashioned non-challenging material.
1. Which of the following was one of the famous Marx Brothers?
a. STRETCH b. SKID c. HARPO d. TYRE
2. The number missing from the series (1,2,4,..,16) is:
a. YELLOW b. GERANIUM c. 8 d. TYRE
3. The letter missing from the series (a,b,c,..,e) is:
a. z b. b c. d d. TYRE
4. A man walks into a Barber Shop, with $5.00. He buys 2 lemons at 45c each, 1 Pickled Eel for $2.40, 4 packets of washing powder for $3.15 each. What will happen?
a. The Barber will wonder where all the stuffs coming from b. He wasn't in a Barber's shop, it was a Dairy c. The Barber will ask him if he's from MUNSA d. Tyre
5. Two trains leave the same station, but moving in opposite directions. The first train is travelling at 50km/hr EAST, while the second one is travelling 50km/hr WEST. Which train is travelling the fastest?
a. The one going EAST b. The one going WEST c. Neither d. Tyre e. Why aren't there (e.)'s in all the other questions
6. What comes next in the series (RED, GREEN)
a. A car b. Orange c. Insufficient Data d. Tyre
7. Mona Lisa was:
a. A dissatisfied woman b. A song by Billy Idol c. A painting d. Tyre
8. The cold war was about:
a. Ice b. Autumn c. A few people at the top not liking each other d. Tyre
9. Complete the following Sequence: (Tyre Tyre Tyre)
a. Tyre b. Tyre c. Tyre d. Pardon?
Ok, time to total up all your marks. Those of you who haven't mastered addition yet, go straight on to the application; you're the sort of person we're looking for. If not, Give yourself 5 points for every D, -5 for every C, (+10 if you can't add negative numbers yet), 0 for every B and 0 for every A you ticked. How did you do?
90 to 50: OK! You're the sort of person we're looking for. Add 10 points to your score if you haven't got the hang of using anything but crayons yet.
50 to -20: Who's been doing late night studying then? Sorry, you're just a run of the mill pleb - push off.
-20 to -90: A computer geek I bet. Go join some place where they talk big numbers and floppy disks!
Is 85 between 90 and 50? Alright! Go to the bottom of the class! You're a leading light in our Association; get someone to fill the form in for you and welcome aboard!
What will MUNSA do for you?
MUNSA is a group of people just like yourself, and as such will have much the same interests. We'll meet once a month to watch American Game Shows (Except for our "advanced" class which will be watching the Australian Imitations), Television Dating Games, and listening to Pulic readings of Romance Novels. Also at the meetings, you'll have the opportunity to buy:
* Swamp land at ridiculously inflated prices
* Genuine Japanese imports with UNTAMPERED ODOMETERS (with scratces on it)
* Slice/Dice/Mince/Stack shelf-mount food mungers from C-Tel
* "Safe" relocatable houses from Chernobyl and many many more things, as yet not exploited.
As a special initial offer, you will be given a free Brain Warning device which rings an alarm if your IQ gets above 25, in time for you to go back to your local for a couple of jugs of your favourite Weasels.
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